getting married with a british born girl?? need help

[mehar]

my brother is about to be engaged with a British born Pakistani girl? that girl is not our relative.we came to know about from a friend reference. but when i told others about this rista they advised not to do this engagement showing their reservations up to the extent of girl's character, wrong information provided about girl background or family background etc

can anyone tell what about could be problem marrying British born pakistani girl??

what could be the worse case scenario ??

 

[siddique]

my brother is about to be engaged with a British born Pakistani girl? that girl is not our relative.we came to know about from a friend reference. but when i told others about this rista people show their reservations over it and advised not to do this engagement

can anyone tell what about could be problem marrying British born pakistani girl??

what could be the worse case scenario ??

well there is no problem as long as they both understand each other
best thing is do ISTAYKHARA, ITS THE SUNNAH OF OUR BELOVED PROPHET HAZRET MOHAMMED SALLALA HO ALAY HAY WASSALAM
THAT U READ TWO RAAKAT OF NAFIL AND AFTER THAT U DO DUA ,ITS A SPECIAL DUA FOR WHICH EVER HALAL THING U WANT TO DO
BASICALLY U ASK ALLAH SWT DIVINE HELP FOR THAT METTER, AND THAT WHATEVER COMES IN UR MIND GOOD OR BAD U DO ACCORDING TO THAT
MANY PEOPLE BELIVE THAT U GO TO SLEEP AND SEE A DREAM NOT NECESSORLY.
U CAN FIND THE DUA E ISTIKHARA IN ANY DUAS BOOK

 

[sharjeel]

frankly speaking Couple made in the Skies. Man
You can find very very good girls with very good family background. Its all about Luck...
People with daughters always seeking good family background Male...

 

[sharjeel]

This has been observed that If You are a Male and If you do Istikhara for different girls...there are more likely chances that they will all come positive...

well there is no problem as long as they both understand each other
best thing is do ISTAYKHARA, ITS THE SUNNAH OF OUR BELOVED PROPHET HAZRET MOHAMMED SALLALA HO ALAY HAY WASSALAM
THAT U READ TWO RAAKAT OF NAFIL AND AFTER THAT U DO DUA ,ITS A SPECIAL DUA FOR WHICH EVER HALAL THING U WANT TO DO
BASICALLY U ASK ALLAH SWT DIVINE HELP FOR THAT METTER, AND THAT WHATEVER COMES IN UR MIND GOOD OR BAD U DO ACCORDING TO THAT
MANY PEOPLE BELIVE THAT U GO TO SLEEP AND SEE A DREAM NOT NECESSORLY.
U CAN FIND THE DUA E ISTIKHARA IN ANY DUAS BOOK

 

[modern fakir]

Sister this may not be the absolutely perfect forum to discuss this but let me share my two cents ?...First off, What do you think is the obvious ?? ...British born girls apart from the culture and a liberal upbringing are not much different.

Pros
===

- Your brother will probably get right to live and settle in the UK
- He can earn more due to better work opportunities in the UK
- He will also most probably be able to sponsor your parents to the UK
- So the parents get better healthcare and pensions

Cons
====

- He might have to live with an "Equal Partner". Unlike Pakistan, where the woman in some cases needs the economical and social protection of a man, the west and british women and even british born pakistani women because of being immersed in the culture their follow the same pattern of the modern "western women".

- This will also depend on her upbringing, as i know some really hardcore Islamic families as well, but even then if your brother is big on Pakistani culture and being the man of the house then he may find some aspects not precisely to his liking

- Their is a HIGHER possibility that he will ALONE and not with parents unlike the traditional Pakistani middle class joint family setup

- He will in some cases feel that he owe's back to the girl for sponsoring him to the UK and she can (if shes that kind of person) use that against him.


Overall their are many pros and cons and it depends on the girl and her family and how she was raised. Having said that Pakistani girls are not ALL a bunch of saints either. For the most part they tend to make better housewives but we got Bad apples everywhere...

I hope this helps ...:)

my brother is about to be engaged with a British born Pakistani girl? that girl is not our relative.we came to know about from a friend reference. but when i told others about this rista people show their reservations over it and advised not to do this engagement

can anyone tell what about could be problem marrying British born pakistani girl??

what could be the worse case scenario ??

 

[siddique]

this has been observed that if you are a male and if you do istikhara for different girls...there are more likely chances that they will all come positive...

u do istikhara one at a time!!!!!
Common sense !!!!which is not common now a days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

[sharjeel]

haha
Girl family shoud do Istikhara...If Boy Family Does It would be more likely to be positive...I Hope you get my point this time....
Common People with Common Sense:)

 

[khan.can]

Well, frankly if your brother needs to settle in UK then go for it but if your brother is a bit conservative (looking for a typical mia biwi relationship) don't bother...as desi kids born in UK are out of control.
In these times luck is not an option!!

 

[ustadjejanab]

To be honest, there is always problem marrying to any girl whether its british or chichawatni born, doesnt matter.

worst case scenario:
british born girl bhi zada say zada bartan hi dholway gi wo bhi garam pani say.....pakistani to thanday pani say dholwati hein.

 

[sharjeel]

funny evaluation....

To be honest, there is always problem marrying to any girl whether its british or chichawatni born, doesnt matter.

worst case scenario:
british born girl bhi zada say zada bartan hi dholway gi wo bhi garam pani say.....pakistani to thanday pani say dholwati hein.

 

[sakayani]

What they say is, keep your both eyes open before getting married, and after, shut one.
Well, its a gamble any way. It could be a jack pot or could be disaster, irrelevant of race or nationality.

 

[sukhan]

Agar apki intention shadi ki due to UK national honay ki wajah hay koi lalach to phir sochain.......

 

[mehar]

haha
Girl family shoud do Istikhara...If Boy Family Does It would be more likely to be positive...I Hope you get my point this time....
Common People with Common Sense:)

samaj nahi aai. aisa kyun ???
please elaborate

 

[ustadjejanab]

Agar apki intention shadi ki due to UK national honay ki wajah hay koi lalach to phir sochain.......

:

nain tay hor fair , british larki kay sath koi salad free milta hay? .......what else
pakistani sari kuryan sailab wich roorh tay nain gayan? ( all paki girls are not drowned in recent floods, are they?)

 

[sharjeel]

I have not tried it but my Cousin did... He was saying because Man is biologically strong enough to handle more than one woman at a time...
You might have observed that unfortunately men have post-martial affairs but Y?

 

[MileStone]

Following are my 2 cents from the male point of view.

I believe, one should try to marry a girl with whom he beleives, he can have a better understanding. Lot of time it happens that the girl who is born and raise in a western country, but still very pious and take hijab etc.. there could still be a good chance that she would not have good understanding with the person who was born and raise in Pakistan. They both would think differently, even though they both are very good person. So, why make it difficult??? I would recommened, in order to marry girl, try picking one who belongs to similar family background as you belong and brought up in a similar manner as you were.

Lot of people nowadays like to marry a girl who lives in a western country just because one can get the citizenship thru her or she may be wealthy. In my opinion, we should pick a girl who we really think, we can have a good life and on top of it, if she is also wealthy or foreign citizen that will be "Soney Pe Suhaga".

In our culture, Marriage could easily be the biggest decision of our lifetime and I believe, we should not take this decision for any materialistic gains. If you know deep in your heart that you are marrying her just to get the citizenship, and she also knows that you agreed to marry her because she is citizen, and if she was not a citizen you would never agreed to marry her, Just think, on what node you are starting your new life.

 

[bforbajwa]

my brother is about to be engaged with a British born Pakistani girl? that girl is not our relative.we came to know about from a friend reference. but when i told others about this rista they advised not to do this engagement showing their reservations up to the extent of girl's character, wrong information provided about girl background or family background etc

can anyone tell what about could be problem marrying British born pakistani girl??

(Well there is no problem to getting marry with any girl in this world. all women want to be take care and equal rights even they are from any part of the world. but i think if you brother has good understanding with her, then there will be no problems. just believe in Allah and go ahead.. May Allah make things easy and better for your brother. ameen)

 

[Temojin]

If your brother is properly settled and doesn't need the financial aspect of this marriage, he should avoid it as sociocultural differences play a big role in marriages.

Istikharah is the best possible way to ascertain it yet people don't do it with utmost belief so it might go wrong (on the part of the person doing it as Allah shows only the best way).

Now about marriages being made in heaven is true and I will provide logic for it.

Every person in this world has rizq associated to him/her and nobody else can take even the tiniest bit out of it. The only person getting that is the person it has been assigned to. So if a person has to come into this world with that particular genetic make up which is impossible between two other individuals, a marriage between the two of them will take place no matter what.

 

[King Brora]

my true opinion. if the girl is from Mirpur side, dont bother, dont even think about it. but if the girl is from other side of Pakistan, then u can think about it. I would say dont follow ur parents, just talk to the girl and ask her true opinion. if she wants to get married some1 from pakistan and she doesnt have any problem with it then go for it. but remember, ur brother will come to england and its a totally different world and will be bit hard from him in the start and also for the girl aswell so have this in his mind to compromise but again u cant clap with one hand, some compromise has to come from her aswell. so its better to have some good talking sessions before getting engaged. so u both have idea about each other.

piece of advice: just dont only talk to the girl, talk to her family aswell, as many boys come here and they live with the girlz family and they make the boy like there servents and make them to work like dogs and pay full house bills and stuff. so talk to her family and have idea about there mentality and intentions. when he comes here then try to find his own space and live seperate with his wife not with her family by doing this he will have his self respect maintained.

worse case: worse case will be, if she is not happy with this wedding she will not say anything now but she will wait for him to come here. when he will be here she will create in-house problems for him and will not extend his visa after 2 years and he will have to go back after 2 years. so be strong

 

[mehar]

my true opinion. if the girl is from Mirpur side, dont bother, dont even think about it. but if the girl is from other side of Pakistan, then u can think about it. I would say dont follow ur parents, just talk to the girl and ask her true opinion. if she wants to get married some1 from pakistan and she doesnt have any problem with it then go for it. but remember, ur brother will come to england and its a totally different world and will be bit hard from him in the start and also for the girl aswell so have this in his mind to compromise but again u cant clap with one hand, some compromise has to come from her aswell. so its better to have some good talking sessions before getting engaged. so u both have idea about each other.

piece of advice: just dont only talk to the girl, talk to her family aswell, as many boys come here and they live with the girlz family and they make the boy like there servents and make them to work like dogs and pay full house bills and stuff. so talk to her family and have idea about there mentality and intentions. when he comes here then try to find his own space and live seperate with his wife not with her family by doing this he will have his self respect maintained.

worse case: worse case will be, if she is not happy with this wedding she will not say anything now but she will wait for him to come here. when he will be here she will create in-house problems for him and will not extend his visa after 2 years and he will have to go back after 2 years. so be strong

thanks alot for ur great answer please clear few more things

what if girl is from mirpur ??whats wrong in it?
how will they treat an educated person like servant??
wont he get nationality afterwards?y did u say they will throw after 2 years?? wont he be a UK national?